During a very recent conversation, I had a young woman tell me that on a first date, the guy told her, “I can see myself married to you.” Mind you…this was a first date! I asked her what she thought of the comment and it was obvious that she was already drinking the Kool-Aid. On a first date, he has already started to consider marriage. Hopefully if you’re reading this, you understand that this is just a game that was being played. One of my favorite quotes, from a woman that I hold in great esteem is,
“Guys play at love in order to get sex; And girls play at sex in order to get love.”
Believe it or not, this can be very effective provided both sides understand the point - that it takes time to truly get to know someone. We should not always take what someone says at face value, dating prospects included. I asked the young lady a few questions about her date. Her own answers made it plain to her that the young man was willing to say anything to get what he wanted. The same questions that I asked this woman are questions you can ask yourself.
What does he know about you that would make him decide that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you?
What does he think is your favorite color?
What is it about your current life that he wants to be a part of?
What does he think about your behavior when you’re in a bad mood? (Remember, he’s only seen you when you’re “on”).
How does he feel about the future you’ve imagined for yourself?
It didn’t take her long to admit that she was probably being played. She wasn’t getting played because she was dumb or stupid or even inexperienced. She was getting played because she really, really, really wanted what he said to be true. He knew what she wanted to hear and he fed it to her.
- You Might Be Getting Played If …
They’re saying things like “I can see myself married to you.”
- You Might Be Getting Played If…
Things started off really strong and then cooled off really fast.
- You Might Be Getting Played If…
He/she just got out of a committed relationship last Friday and they want to start a committed relationship with you on Wednesday.
- You Might Be Getting Played If…
There is always time for sex, but little time for meeting their friends or family.
- And the biggest one…You Might Be Getting Played If…
Things are moving really fast. You’ve only been out to coffee and they want to be exclusive now!
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